So,....SO!... so...it's been awhile since my last post and this one comes with a confession. I HATE journaling! But blogging has somehow made it doable. By giving journaling a different name, I am able to attempt it. (It's similar to calling your "Budget" a spending plan. Now, doesn't it make you more relaxed to call it a spending plan?) You see, journaling the cute, the weird, the funny, the growing moments and even some truly touching things is easy and fun. It can be entertaining even. And I have several journals with six to nine months worth of my life in them. Then BAM! You hit a rocky point in your life and you just figure it's 1) depressing and 2) no one wants to read about depressing things. I'll try not to give TMI, b/c I do find the jobless situation depressing, but I also don't want you all to think I ditched you for Facebook or something like that.
So, here are some things I've learned:
It's not natural for hubbie to be home all day. He gets in my way and makes me face some things I knew, but didn't want him to know. What things?
I sometimes spend too much time on the computer, which I can't do now that he needs to be looking for a job.
Sometimes, my computer time involves ignoring the kids.
I like to watch Oprah AND I don't even fold the laundry while watching her.
When I don't feel like doing housework, and who ever does, I have lots of things to replace it with such as talking on the phone about absolutely nothing, reading, quilting and podcasts on itunes (can Dave Ramsey possibly be a bad thing?)
I have also realized I like to shop. Or should that be, used to like to shop :) If I needed out of the house, Target or Costco have often been my drug of choice. No flat screen TVs or anything, but go get the kids' gummy vitamins, pick up a book and by-the-way, how about some poppyseed muffins?
I hate FEELING poor.
I KNOW we aren't really poor.
Knowing how long a trial will last does not help you through the trial. I think of the children of Israel and Moses and I also think of Noah and the Ark. Knowing the length of a trial probably leads to things like last minute repentance and blatant rebellion. Plus, you always keep asking "Are we there yet?" And I'm pretty sure our Father in Heaven doesn't like that question any more than our earthly parents do (or us, for that matter.)
The big shocker for me has been to learn I haven't been as compassionate as I should have been to others in the past. It truly is hard to know something unless you've been through it. It's sympathy VS. empathy. And empathy is a talent for those of you who have it. But I feel sad for all the times I thought about things but didn't do them. Things like sending a card in the mail for no reason. Dropping by to say "Hi" unexpectedly and being willing to stay as long as needed. Kidnapping people, I definitely should have done this more for some of my friends. (Let me clarify, kidnapping my friends, not their kids, or maybe both, I don't know.) Buying an extra gallon of milk and dropping by to see if someone needs it (Have any of you heard a talk about that? I have and it's always stuck with me, though the details are fuzzy.)
Anyway, I think I found my New Year's Resolution finally. I need to be more empathetic and a better friend.
Thanks to all our secret friends who have helped. I know you want to be anonymous, but I can't let you go unthanked and I don't often get up in church to do such things. I have learned a lot from you. I haven't even been snooping or trying to be a detective or anything. This is amazing if you know what I'm like about Christmas. But I love all of you and thank you for caring! I even finally cried, but it's a good thing, because I have always been blessed with good friends and that thought is what started the tears. Can you help me pass these words of thanks on to my known and unknown friends who don't blog and have helped us? You all are great!
