Things I won't be able to say...

...I have a wonderful opportunity today. It is probably our last Sunday in Nampa, ID and the speakers selected in church today will not be in town. So, the two families in our ward moving get to bare their testimonies, though admittedly, Brother Deeble will have to do the rest. Part of me still thinks it's a joke, but we will see. And believe me, I WANT NAMES of the people who cancelled. Well, I do have a testimony, but I don't think it will be understood between the tears and blubbering and nerves and distractions (children, mostly.) So, there are a few things I'll mention here specifically, but the overall message is that I know my Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan for me. A good part of that testimony has been developed while living here in Nampa, going to the 13th ward and serving and being served here for the past 10 years. I LOVE this ward!

I hesitate to mention names, because there will be some who are dear to me who I won't mention. That could hurt feelings, but please don't let it. It's 5 a.m. and I'm just thinking of a few things right now. The first being my friend Alli. You know these last 4+ months have been so hard. And my family and I have been really looked after a lot. But as during any trial (I think), there have been some moments of real self-pity. One Saturday, I woke up feeling not very cared about. People had been dropping in and checking on Randal, checking on Randal, checking on Randal, and everyone was looking out for our kids, but it seemed that morning like no one was caring about ME! (Ungrateful little brat that I was on that day.) I hadn't been checked-up on in awhile. That was the day Alli (and Joel) stopped by my house. I don't know why they stopped by that day, though they are always welcome. But what I do know is that the Lord used them to reach out to me. The Lord answered my need in the very day it was expressed. And I wasn't even very nice when I expressed the need. I believe I was "murmuring." Out loud and very grumpily. Nothing remarkable was said, nothing remarkable done, but it was enough. I knew the Lord was watching out for me and perhaps just waiting for me to ask for help.

Corla, thank you. You truly have checked-up on me many, many, many times. It seemed like sometimes I was just calling you about primary or stopping by to see Brooklyn's new glasses, but it always ended up with you asking about me and my family and then doing something, unasked, for us. You are a very good do-er. A remarkable talent that I have often admired in you.

Katie, you are another do-er that I know. You were the very first person to show up on our door with help. I admit to the first week after our job loss, for me, being a freak-out week. A week full of what the heck are we going to do??? What now? And when you showed up, though I believe you did it all on your own, I just thought you embodied the term "Relief Society." I know that we wouldn't have hit any major trouble in just one week, but some of the immediate worries I would have had were taken care of by your gift. I know I'm being vague, but I don't want to embarrass. I just want to say "thanks."

There has to be bigger words than "Thank You" when you are trying to say thanks for years of friendship. I just don't know those words though. But my friend Nicole has been with me the entire ten years I have lived here. She was "assigned" me as a person to visit teach right after I had Parker. We were briefly part of a colossal ward (3rd ward) and didn't know more than five or six people. That's a hard way to be with no family around and a new baby. But, again, I know the Lord was looking out for me, because he sent Nicole. I hope I have blessed you as you have blessed me. You are my quilting, sewing, crafting and now crocheting buddy. I had a blast with you trying to "Shop Hop" the quilt stores. What an adventure! Half-way Oregon wouldn't be nearly as fun a place without you. And Baker City was awesome.

Laurie, do you even read this blog? I will never forget you kindness to me after the miscarriage. I know that was a long time ago, but your testimony during that time made everything better. We knew about the fertility issues we had at that time. We were so excited that maybe, just maybe, the Lord would bless us with a second child. And then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Sometimes, it doesn't even seem real, because we weren't very far along. But your testimony about what a life is, even when it's only a few small cell, and your faith that the Lord would somehow make it alright was what got me past that difficult time. We still don't know the hows, whens, ifs or whys, but we do know the Lord loves us and has a plan.

How do I include the rest of my friends, who have all been such a blessing in my life? I love you all. I don't want to forget anyone, but I will if I list names. Then I'll be lower than slug slime. I do have to give a quick, but sincere, thank you to the mystery donor of money to us. We found it in an unmarked envelope on our car and the gesture touched our whole family's hearts. So much of the service we each receive goes unnoticed by children. We have to show them or teach them how people serve us and how we can serve them. But that envelope was something our kids understood without us explaining. They knew that someone in the ward, and also their Heavenly Father, was very aware of them and our situation. They knew, in that moment, that we would be okay as a family and people were going to help us. They knew, and I know, the Lord is ever present in our lives. I know I'm cheesy, but they knew and I know that we are not alone. I love you all! Stay tuned for our next Adventures.